After the group interm crit I found there were two main criticisms with this piece that came up:
- Quotation marks aren't needed because they reinforce the obvious and crowd the image
- The red is a bit too contrasting with the white and black, and distracts from the rest of the quote.
I've since altered my design removing the quotation marks and inversing the colour and adding a light blue background to represent the water. I played around with the composition and spacing a bit more. I think it now reads well and the effect of the words comes across as you read each word in sequence.
Perhaps the addition of alternating colour to show meanings was a bit of overkill. I think white works because for words like 'serene' and 'sedate' it carries the same connotations of passiveness and grace. I think the increased size and bold weight of words like 'strong' and 'violence' is enough to carry the connotations of aggression and strength without the need of different colours. This simplification of colour use does makes the design more consistent and brings the quote together as a whole.
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